* * New Years * *

So, I thought of this while I was just laying in bed with a VERY sick Isabel.

I haven't gone out for New Years Eve in going on 5 years. With kids, and no boyfriend to speak of, I find that my New Years Eve is spent at home with one or both kids watching a new movie and eating snacks and trying to stay up all night. This year I had the same plans. Until I was watching my gals on Pixiwoo. They were doing a tutorial for New Years party makeup and it got me thinking about having a glamorous New Years Eve with Isabel and Todd possibly at my sister's house!

Isabel can wear her party dress or a tutu or her princess outfits or whatever she wants! AND I will let her do her makeup and wear her new princess jewels! I will do my hair and makeup and wear something sparkly and we can eat lots of delicious snack on fancy paper plates! We can even get the plastic fancy champagne flutes from the dollar store and drink princess punch out of them! I will even get Todd and Conner some of those party/noise makers for them to play with :)

Oh I am just so excited! All this pending that Isabel isn't sick anymore and I have Toddie for New Years....

XOXO

~ * Christmas 2010 * ~

So instead of posting a bagazillion Christmas pictures on here,I put some of them into a slide show... I've never done this before, so I hope it works! Here ya go!!

Christmas 2010 - slideshow with music

The kids and I had a great time with family!! Hope your Holiday season was just as blessed :))

David Crowder*Band - How He Loves

Complicated vs. Consistent

The holiday season of 2010 has brought with it the realizaion that life is messy and complicated, but I serve a most consistent God. He is ever present, ever knowing, ever loving, ever wise and ever true to His promise of  love and devotion to His children.

As a mother I can begin to understand the way in which God's love for us could be THE most consuming part of His day. I think the best way to describe this ever consuming love is to remind everyone of the way you feel right before you fall asleep at night. Well, atleast for me, the feeling right before I fall into an 8 hour sleep (ok, usually only 6 or 7 hours) is one of warmth, complete comfort and the knowledge that in a few short minutes I will be blissfully content with the world around me. The love I have for my kids makes me feel the same way. The relationships I have built with both of them are unique and yet resemble eachother through the love we give eachother. There is nothing like the look on your childs face when you pick them up from daycare, or when you wake them up in the morning, or the way they sound when they giggle in their sleep.

It has also become beautifully clear to me the way our heavenly father must raise his brows at us in frustration when we wander from the path he has created for us. The WONDERFUL thing about the God I serve, is that He is there to comfort me when I know I have done wrong.

"There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," Roman 8:1.

What else is there to be said? The lack of condemnation does not serve as a free pass for me to sin, please do not misunderstand me. It goes beyond the freedom to do wrong,and rights what wrong I have done. This love superseeds all human understanding and yet is free and accesible to anyone willing to follow the call. It is with a most heavy heart that I confess to you today, that my life has become messy. There is this persistent feeling that the bottom, at any point, is going to drop out from under me and I will be burdened more tomorrow than I am today. Its always there. Have you ever seen two dogs fighting? Not actual dog fighting, but the kind of fighting when I walk Sage passsed a house that has no fenced front yard, but a massive dog tied to a small tree. That kind of fighting that is unexpected, but its occurance is easily understood when you realize later that you shoud have taken the safer route for your walk. People always say that hinde sight is 20/20 and I must say that I completely agree.

Why is it that clarification of error only comes once the storm has passed? Maybe that's the key to God's grace. Maybe thats what grace is. Maybe it is this hindesight that serves as a persons true place of desperation or great need for a savior. Whatever the definition, a messy life cries out for order.... order found in the loving and condemnation free presence of a kind hearted God.

As everyone is looking to make New Years resolutions, I look to make only one: To find out who I am in Christ and to fall in love with everything that He is. This messy life is mine no longer. Farewell. 2010 was great and I am happy to have healthy kids, but they deserve to know what true love looks like. They deserve to know what the love of Christ can do to and for their lives, because they are my consuming lifes work. Isabel and Todd are only privey to what I choose for them, so here we go!

Oh, and I will be posting pics later this evening :))

So..... Let's chat!

Well, its been well over a week since my last blog post and I apologize! Even as I write this, my computer won't let me upload some pictures from the last few weeks, but I have some from the cell that I can show ya! My last blog was about my birthday.....

Well my birthday wasn't all I had hoped it would be, but it ended fabulously. I woke up at my leisure with Isabel that morning and then my nephew Conner came over later that morning while his mom went to work. He brought  me my favorite coffee from Starbucks and did fairly well while shopping at Target. I dropped Isabel off for a visit with her father and grandparents, grabbed McDonalds for Conner and I and did normal day stuff. I am not trying  to sound ungrateful by any means, my birthday as a whole was wonderful. It just had its very rough moments. Anywho, later that night, Isabel went to the lights of Christmas with my entire family and I went over to my best friend Alyssa's house. Her wonderful family bought me Mexican food from Vera Cruz and we just sat around doing a whole lot of nothing. Well, she and her husband and I played a very LLLOOOONG game of Trivial Pursuit and then I went home at 12:30. Alyssa, Nick and Gabe got me a rockin pair of Betsey Jonson ear rings that go perfectly with everything I own. Thanks guys!! My parents got me Eclipse on DVD, my sister got me Chanel foundation, my Auntie Tammy cut my hair and then some of my best gal pals took me out to dinner the next night at Azul. Those are the pictures I wanted to show you, but I will have to figure this camera out later.

Now...... onto something else.

The kids and I have made a TON of Muddie Buddies :)

And more recently, we have been making tents for story time. These were the best shots we could get brfore Todd would squirm.

These are some great memories :))

Oh! And my folks just got tile counter tops installed in the kitchen! All thanks to my sister Sophie for tile and the install, she has a great eye and really helped them out here! The full height back splash should be installed in January! AND, they hooked up the fridge we have had sitting in the garage forever! It has an ice and water dispenser!! Summers will be bearable again!

 Just fabulous!

The before and after of our tree! Isabel LOVES to decorate!

And this one I just thought was cute, I love this girl!

All in all, it has been a great Christmas season so far! Isabel, Todd and I send our love and continual prayers out for each person in our lives, you really mean the world to us!

XOXO

Bah! It's Been a Little Over a Week!!

Sorry for the slowness to blog, but the holiday season has me running in circles. Toddie and I will be going Christmas shopping today and then I will have more time to blog. Oh we have much to catch up on!

XOXO

Another Year

Have you ever stopped to think about the year you have just lived on the day of your birthday? Not your entire life, just the last year of it. 

I tend to be one of those people that when a landmark date or a holiday approaches, I get emotional. Maybe it's family gatherings, or the loving gestures from one person to the next, or the way that in the busiest moments of an occasion, you can sometimes feel lonely? I don't know. With my birthday just 2 hours and 52 minutes away, lets take a look at the last year of my life together.

In January, Isabel started her very first ballet class :)

The first Starfield concert of the year.

Then there was the San Diego trip in April.

 

Coronado beach with the ladies.

Our last night in SD :(

And the flight home......

I met my best friend Alyssa :)

... and her son Gabe. Love this kid :))

Mother's Day picnic at the beach house :)

Toddie turned 2 in May!

Desi turned 18 in May as well, love you girl :)

Family reunion with the Paulauans in June

Sophie turned 26 in June. She IS the best!

We learned that Todd hides behind the grahams when he hears fireworks in July.

... oh, and Isabel loves roman candles....

Both kids transitioned into big kids beds. AMEN!!

Made our first family trip to Moses Lake :)

Took them to Moses Lake

I used to swing on that with Sophie....

Isabel had her first pedi :)

My little family became one child bigger when we adopted Sharon at our second Stafield concert.

Had a great Halloween :)

Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving 2010

Overall the year has been busy and somewhat challenging to say the least. But who doesn't fight their own battles? 24 brings with it some very real challenges, but very surely God will be with me through it all. I can look at each of these pictures and remember exactly where I was spiritually. Each one a kind of reminder of excellent and not so excellent times, but the truth doesn't lie in where I was or what I was doing, it is that I have somehow managed to make it another year in God's infinite grace. No credit to my abilities, its all to his glory. 

24 also brings to light that I face another year missing my dad. I'm not quite sure how to describe the feeling of loss to someone else. I also acknowledge that I have a more than wonderful mother that means the world to me! She's my safety and my rock. No question. Still, I miss him. Sometimes I can hardly hear his voice anymore or the way he sounded when he laughed. I remember the feel of his scruffy face on my cheek and the way he would raise his eyebrows to tell us yes when he had finally lost his ability to speak. I remember the way he loved me without words or movements. Todd Rhoadarmer knew what it was to be in desperate need of a savior, and kid you not a savior appeared to him. The only Savior. The selfish part of me wants him here with me, but I know thats impossible. It isn't like I can call him when I want to cry, or even tell him how much I love him. 

But God is good ALL the time. I will never forget how kind He has been to me this last year. Yes, God is glorious and powerful and awesome and merciful.... but my heart thanks Him for simply showing me and my family kindness. Psalm 103 says that, "His kindness and love are a crown on our heads." Can you see mine? 

XOXO

Next Girl

Isabel is now 4 years old!!

So last night we had Isabel's 4th Birthday party and it was a total success :)

She had a Hello Kitty themed party and she absolutely LOVED it.

Everyone that arrived had to have a Hello Kitty tattoo on :)

We sang her Happy Birthday! (She decided to keep her candle)

Todd and Mommy love this girl :))

 She opened a TON of gifts.....

...and by the end of the night was snuggled up in her new pajamas watching her new Tinkerbell movie by Auntie Sophie's Christmas tree :)

All in all a great party! We had breakfast for dinner (pancakes, sausage, eggs and princess punch). Thank you to everyone that attended, your gifts and presence made the party just perfect :)

Now... onto MY birthday!! 5 days and counting :)

This time 4 years ago....

I was a patient at the Women and Children's Pavilion in Everett, laying in bed with my beautiful new baby, Isabel Ray Rhoadarmer. :)

Let me back up a smidge....

If you know anything about my daughter, its that she does most things when she is ready. Her original due date was November 25th and she must not have been ready to come out, because she didn't. When my OBGYN told me I had to be induced, had to pick a due date in the next two weeks AND that he would be going on vacation in 9 days I was a bit stressed, but so anxious to meet my daughter!! I chose December 3rd, he gave me the paperwork for the day of the induction and sent me on my way. I instantly called everyone I could think of! My oldest sister Sophie was my coach and together we had attended a birthing class for good measure. That next few days was intense. Every little movement she made, or pain I was having put me on edge, until December 3rd rolled around still nothin.

Finally the big day had come!! Her dad, Kiel, had come over early that morning and we spent the entire day together. He stayed at the house with me, took me out to lunch at our favorite Teriyaki joint in town and even played cards with me to keep my mind off of the events that would take place that evening. My paperwork had instructed me to call the hospital at 6 PM and check to see if there was any open delivery rooms available, so right at 6 I called and there wasn't room for me. The nurse told me to call back at 9 PM and try again. By then my sister Sophie, my brothers, my cousin and my mom were all at the house. Some took naps, some watched a Zombie movie with Kiel and I and still some played cards. The nine o'clock call to the hospital gave us the green light to get moving and I was so nervous!!

Once there and connected to all the machines, I laid in the hospital bed listening to the rapid heart rate of my daughter and thinking that I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was in for.....

Man was I right!! A slow petosin drip lead me into what I thought was the worst pain I had ever felt in my WHOLE LIFE!! Imagine Wolverine releasing his knuckle blades into your abdomen and then pouring salt into your open wound. Atleast thats how it felt the first time around, I would later learn with Toddie that getting to a forced dilation of 4 cm is nothing. Anywho, after 16 hours and an epidural I was ready to push. With my sister Sophie, Kiel, my mom and Kiel's mom present I began pushing.... and pushing... and pushing. I pushed for a solid hour and then I heard it. I heard the doctor say that she was out!! Few seconds later I heard her cry!! What a strangely beautiful sound! I had decided early on that she would be named Elliott (Ell or Ellie for short), but when I saw her for the first time I knew her name was Isabel.

She weighed in at 6 lbs. 7 oz and had a ton of brown hair on her head. I don't remember crying, but everyone else in the delivery room was. Even the nurse! I don't remember what time she was born, but I do remember that later that night her dad ordered me my favorite pizza and had it delivered to my hospital room. Aww, how nice. I spent the rest of that night half sleeping and waking every two hours when our vitals had to be checked. She wouldn't stop crying at one point, so I got up and walked around the hospital wing in my Polo robe with her until she stopped. That is one of the best memories I share with both of my children :) The next day Aunt Sophie came and picked us up in her silver sports car and took us home. Kiel stayed at the house with me for that evening and said he would return the next day. We made a pretty good team those first few weeks!

Isabel Ray Rhoadarmer, mommy and daddy love you very much! I continue to pray that you listen to the ever present voice of the Lord. Even at 4, he is talking to you! We are proud of the young lady you are becoming and can't wait to see whats in store for your life!

XOXO,

Mom and Dad