Complicated vs. Consistent

The holiday season of 2010 has brought with it the realizaion that life is messy and complicated, but I serve a most consistent God. He is ever present, ever knowing, ever loving, ever wise and ever true to His promise of  love and devotion to His children.

As a mother I can begin to understand the way in which God's love for us could be THE most consuming part of His day. I think the best way to describe this ever consuming love is to remind everyone of the way you feel right before you fall asleep at night. Well, atleast for me, the feeling right before I fall into an 8 hour sleep (ok, usually only 6 or 7 hours) is one of warmth, complete comfort and the knowledge that in a few short minutes I will be blissfully content with the world around me. The love I have for my kids makes me feel the same way. The relationships I have built with both of them are unique and yet resemble eachother through the love we give eachother. There is nothing like the look on your childs face when you pick them up from daycare, or when you wake them up in the morning, or the way they sound when they giggle in their sleep.

It has also become beautifully clear to me the way our heavenly father must raise his brows at us in frustration when we wander from the path he has created for us. The WONDERFUL thing about the God I serve, is that He is there to comfort me when I know I have done wrong.

"There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," Roman 8:1.

What else is there to be said? The lack of condemnation does not serve as a free pass for me to sin, please do not misunderstand me. It goes beyond the freedom to do wrong,and rights what wrong I have done. This love superseeds all human understanding and yet is free and accesible to anyone willing to follow the call. It is with a most heavy heart that I confess to you today, that my life has become messy. There is this persistent feeling that the bottom, at any point, is going to drop out from under me and I will be burdened more tomorrow than I am today. Its always there. Have you ever seen two dogs fighting? Not actual dog fighting, but the kind of fighting when I walk Sage passsed a house that has no fenced front yard, but a massive dog tied to a small tree. That kind of fighting that is unexpected, but its occurance is easily understood when you realize later that you shoud have taken the safer route for your walk. People always say that hinde sight is 20/20 and I must say that I completely agree.

Why is it that clarification of error only comes once the storm has passed? Maybe that's the key to God's grace. Maybe thats what grace is. Maybe it is this hindesight that serves as a persons true place of desperation or great need for a savior. Whatever the definition, a messy life cries out for order.... order found in the loving and condemnation free presence of a kind hearted God.

As everyone is looking to make New Years resolutions, I look to make only one: To find out who I am in Christ and to fall in love with everything that He is. This messy life is mine no longer. Farewell. 2010 was great and I am happy to have healthy kids, but they deserve to know what true love looks like. They deserve to know what the love of Christ can do to and for their lives, because they are my consuming lifes work. Isabel and Todd are only privey to what I choose for them, so here we go!

Oh, and I will be posting pics later this evening :))